Kakabeka Falls and A Leap of Faith!

During the past week I was inundated with worry about the future and more specifically about how I was going to work and earn a living, since leaving my job. I queried my decision to take the summer months off to get in touch with myself, in preparation for the next chapter. I questioned my impressions. Pessimism and self-judgement crowded out any sense of compassion toward myself, and the recognition that I am still undergoing a period of transition. The more I criticised myself the worse I felt, and vice versa. Conflict took centre stage. While briefly in Thunder Bay I found myself calling out to the angels for help. By that night, which was characterized by restless sleep, I found myself writing in my journal that I must take time to understand myself, who I am, and what I have come here to do. It is important for me to ask to be shown this, and to see what I can do with the awareness. I realized that there is bound to be a sense of discomfort as I wade into uncharted waters!

On the way home my travelling companion and I stopped at Kakabeka Falls. Known as Niagara of the North, Kakabeka Falls plunges 40 metres over sheer cliffs and some of the oldest fossils in the world. As a result of my experience there, and the few days prior, I wrote the following:

In no way was I prepared for the sight I beheld

Even though I had been there years before
In the heat of the day I moved quickly along the path

Drawn by the water's continuous roar!

The mighty falls carved their deliberate way

Thundering down the gorge

Froth and foam merrily erupted

As into the canyon the water poured.

I took delight in this powerful scene

Of huge momentum created by cascading water

I could have stood all day and watched

Even though it became hotter and hotter!

For the sight and sound of this powerful movement

Seemed to trigger a shift in me

From all that I was ready to release from my being

To live more authentically.

Fear, hesitation, stubbornness, self-diminishment

All released in the mist

Carried away by the water's surge

I was powerless to resist!

A jump of excitement was felt within

Was this my just reward?

Or merely a signpost of passing a bend

Now ready to bounce out the door.

Ready to embrace and engage with the newness

As if leaping into the gorge!

Equipped with the willingness to express myself

Opening many new doors.

As if to concur the falls thundered unceasingly

Indicating there was no need to hold back

Instead the sheer excitement, the unparalleled thrill

Of diving in with the wind at my back!