Saturday, November 13, 2010

Like the Seasons I Embrace Change! Part 1

To look back at my last entry and see the photos of the summer landscape, after coming in from a cool, snowy, early winter evening is quite a jolt! Where has the time gone? How can the landscape change so dramatically in just a few short months? How can it be that just five weeks ago we were enjoying vibrant fall colours, and now face a more subtle landscape, beginning to cloak itself in the white of winter? Yesterday my husband was walking in the bush, and among the grey and yellow stubble of the dead grasses saw a pure white rabbit running by. Take shelter carefully young bunny! You  have donned your winter coat ahead of the season. Perhaps in the next few days the season will catch up with you! 

Recently I sought help with a plan for lifestyle changes which I have known I needed to make for a long time. When the plan was presented to me and I was asked if it was doable, I wholeheartedly agreed with a large smile on my face. Within myself I said "You've got to be kidding!" I could not imagine myself carrying through with this for more than half a day and the first phase of the regime spanned one month! Nonetheless I figured I would find a way to begin it, and then gracefully opt out, saving face. After all, when it came to self care over the years, I was a master at putting other's needs ahead of my own, and making that the reason for neglecting myself and my health.

So I began the "plan", and quickly found many reasons to stop it! As I did so I entertained myself with belittling comments about my lack of self-discipline, then moved on to strong feelings of resistance, and then settled into a diatribe about the failure I have been in ALL areas of my life! Then a funny thing ~ well, actually two funny things ~ occurred! First of all as hard as I tried, I could not come up with only a list of failures! As I thought of the mistakes I have made in life, I also recalled some things I have done well, some people who have thanked me for making a difference, and some things I have absolutely LOVED doing, regardless of the results. As I began to think in this direction, I recalled some of the wise words of my dear friend Denyse, about thoughts being thoughts, and that I can choose the role of observer whenever I want to, to challenge self-defeating thoughts, and choose instead to reach for the thoughts which bring me some relief/encouragement/self-empowerment. I suppose that in recalling areas of my life where I did well, instead of continuing "negative inventories", I was doing just that. 

The second thing which happened (this evening) was my observation of the deck at the back of the house,  where a thin layer of snow was accumulating ~ the first snow of the season. (I guess that rabbit will have his camouflage after all!)  I realized that I had been hoping and hoping the snow would stay away awhile longer (in this northern part of the province no less!). Seeing the snow in front of my patio door, I realized just how funny was my line of thinking. I could no more hold off the snow than I could control the flow of the seasons or anything else for that matter!! The rhythm of the seasons, as the rhythms of my life, follow a cycle, a pattern. I may think (ignorance is bliss!) I can slow things down or speed them up, or eliminate steps on my path, but who am I trying to kid? Mother Earth demonstrates time and time again the patterns of nature are our patterns too. So who am I to dig in my heels and resist change, when change IS upon me? Now is the time to go with the flow! 

I believe I had some thought of this last week when I wrote the following poem, which I will use to complete this entry: 

God gives goodness, goals and learning
All which is accessible from inside
With proper attention to my Higher Self
In Peace and fulfillment do I reside.

The circle speaks of wholeness, completeness
All included with talents to bring
Endless motion yet at the same time stillness
Peace radiating from deep within.

There are many many opportunities
Like waves lapping upon the shore
Always ready to be entered into
To open yet another door.

Which will I accept and run with?
Which will I lovingly absorb?
Suppose I choose to live life to the fullest
Will I reap just rewards?

Better to accept the challenge
Of meeting my thoughts which crowd me at the door 
Best to view the broader picture
To realize the meaning of "more".

Optimal to live knowing all projections
Directions completely influence that
The vision presenting itself to be trusted
Huge source of power calls us back.

Creations occurs on many levels
This continual process we know
The reminder tho' is often needed
To participate fully in the flow.

May you, too, enjoy the fruits of embracing change!
Blessings on your path. 

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Pathway to the Heart Within

As I continue with my transition from my job in a healthcare setting to being on my own, I am aware that there is an ongoing need for a fresh perspective. Who am I now that I do not occupy a position and identify with a career role? What will be the driving force or motivation, in the use of my time? Am I to consider myself an entrepreneur, and if so, what services or products will I promote? How will I determine what is authentically mine to offer the world?

A dear friend of mine is grappling with similar questions, as she strives to offer her services in such a way as to meet changing needs (those of herself and others). One thing we discussed was the guidance offered by the heart, and the importance of tuning into this intelligence.  After we discussed this I wrote the following:

Pathway to the Heart Within

There are many more ways of living our lives
Than those to which we are accustomed
One involves a connection to the heart
In a manner fraught with wisdom.

This journey inside is an unusual one
For it requires a letting go
A stepping off a mind controlled path
To embrace another way of being in the know.

It is as if deep within us
There is a secret chamber
Which hold the keys to deepest mysteries
Allowing us to stop living as Earth's stranger.

How is it possible to connect to this reservoir
Drinking deeply from refreshing waters
In such as way that we experience renewal
And a connection to our fore fathers.

Two ingredients of this "recipe"
Readily come to mind
The first is loving acceptance of oneself
Respect of the greatest kind!

The second aspect is a powerful one too
For it involves creative endeavours
Giving expression to what truly makes you, You
Instead of Helen's or Don's or Heather's!

Loving yourself and giving free reign
To yourself to be who you are
Connects you with joy and inspiration
The Life Force in the reservoir!

This connection uniquely your own
Is available to one and all
Once it is made it can open the gates
The horse is out of the stall!

How then does this possibly change
The way we relate to the world?
The way we understand ourselves and others
And circumstances into which we are hurled?

There is a distinct letting go
As we embrace our inner power
A leaving aside of conventional norms
So all aspects of ourselves can flower.

There is a release of typical expectations
Of the way things ought to be
In favour of following a deeper rhythm
Which may at times seem surreal.

This can result if a sense of flow
Unlike any we may ever have known
Relating to the rest of the world
From the comfort of you "home".

Feeling then that you have a place
One which is valid indeed
Originating from your heart's loving intelligence
To connect with, trust, and find real.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Nature's Reflections

All around me the opportunity
for reflection abounds
The lake waters reflecting the rich landscape
I delight in making the rounds!

Rains have contributed to lush green growth
Earthy smells emanate from the forest
Does this mirror change within me
Which is right around the corner?

Plunging into the cool waters
At the beach on any given day
I experience relief and renewal
Summer warmth, I want you to stay!

For here I am presented with so many surprises
Twelve loons greeted me the other day
Mother duck and her ducklings
Make their home in the bay.
Nature's cornucopia
Pours forth rich garden crops
To remind us we are on planet earth
Mosquitoes never stop!
So what do these life giving scenes reflect
Of the person I am right now?
Is this awareness
Something I will allow?
With a grateful heart for this Paradise
I cannot help but see
That the exquisite beauty in Mother Earth
Is a reflection of the infinite beauty in everyone
Endless creativity in you and me!

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Kakabeka Falls and A Leap of Faith!

During the past week I was inundated with worry about the future and more specifically about how I was going to work and earn a living, since leaving my job. I queried my decision to take the summer months off to get in touch with myself, in preparation for the next chapter. I questioned my impressions. Pessimism and self-judgement crowded out any sense of compassion toward myself, and the recognition that I am still undergoing a period of transition. The more I criticised myself the worse I felt, and vice versa. Conflict took centre stage. While briefly in Thunder Bay I found myself calling out to the angels for help. By that night, which was characterized by restless sleep, I found myself writing in my journal that I must take time to understand myself, who I am, and what I have come here to do. It is important for me to ask to be shown this, and to see what I can do with the awareness. I realized that there is bound to be a sense of discomfort as I wade into uncharted waters!
On the way home my travelling companion and I stopped at Kakabeka Falls. Known as Niagara of the North, Kakabeka Falls plunges 40 metres over sheer cliffs and some of the oldest fossils in the world. As a result of my experience there, and the few days prior, I wrote the following:

In no way was I prepared for the sight I beheld
Even though I had been there years before
In the heat of the day I moved quickly along the path
Drawn by the water's continuous roar!
The mighty falls carved their deliberate way
Thundering down the gorge
Froth and foam merrily erupted
As into the canyon the water poured.
I took delight in this powerful scene
Of huge momentum created by cascading water
I could have stood all day and watched
Even though it became hotter and hotter!
For the sight and sound of this powerful movement
Seemed to trigger a shift in me
From all that I was ready to release from my being
To live more authentically.
Fear, hesitation, stubbornness, self-diminishment
All released in the mist
Carried away by the water's surge
I was powerless to resist!
A jump of excitement was felt within
Was this my just reward?
Or merely a signpost of passing a bend
Now ready to bounce out the door.
Ready to embrace and engage with the newness
As if leaping into the gorge!
Equipped with the willingness to express myself
Opening many new doors.
As if to concur the falls thundered unceasingly
Indicating there was no need to hold back
Instead the sheer excitement, the unparalleled thrill
Of diving in with the wind at my back!

Sunday, July 4, 2010

Mother Mary and Miriam

Huge rains poured down all day long
Clouds rolled by unceasingly
Thunder and lightning filled the sky
As we took refuge inside increasingly.

The heavy air cleared as emotion washed through
Each one took their place
Clutter was released from corners hidden
A joyous visit occurred for Heather Pace!

Something was moving much deeper though
Way beneath the surface
Miriam picked up on energies present
Which have a very profound purpose.
The current was absorbed as she walked outside
Barefoot in the rain
More significantly though as she listened to the voice
Which was attributed to someone of fame.

For a teacher on the 'net indicated that she
Channelled Mother Mary
Miriam decided to listen to this
Even tho' feeling wary!

Questions arose as "Mary" spoke
Could this really be her?
Immediately the mind searched to make comparisons
So contact with this entity could occur.

Instead some confusion presented itself
Was Mary really coming closer
What was she like - she sounded a little stern
Was it possible to get to know her?

Breathe. . . she was saying on the the tape
Allow yourself to go deeper
Open yourself to the resounding truth
You are truly meant to meet her!

She realized this was too much to absorb
So allowed other concerns to divert her
It was only later when reading the material
That she knew in her heart there was a merger!

A partnership for which Miriam had prepared
Many, many lifetimes
Now would be known deep in her soul
No more waiting on the sidelines!

As if to affirm she saw the colour blue
A large flash on the wall
Realizing a confirmation had occurred
She felt in awe, and small.

Ready, though, was she to proceed
The connection with Mary she would entertain
When with a deep sigh she opened her eyes
Awakening from her dream in the rain.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

A Completely New Beginning!

June 30, 2010

For the first time in my adult life I am free of all work commitments including formal employment, teaching, and speaking engagements, and anything related. Nor are there any plans for these in the near future! I feel liberated and excited, almost with a sense of disbelief! As well, for the first time in 38 years I am off for the summer! That may imply I have a plan in mind for the fall months, but I do not!

Awhile ago I became aware that it was important for me to take time to reflect deeply on my life, my purpose, and potentially come up with new direction now that I have departed from my formal career. It was pointed out to me that my writing is an effective tool for self-reflection and personal inspiration. On that basis I would do well to go aside and devote time to this inner exploration. I heartily agreed that this was worthy of my time and attention. Within my heart I welcomed the insights that would emerge, and potentially the transformation which would take place.

That was two months ago! Instead what has happened is something entirely different. I have contemplated writing, readied myself for it, written about taking the time to do it, but have not quite followed through. My dear friend Denyse recently reminded me that the summer goes by quickly! Along with this I began to notice additional places by the water, where one could easily relax, and write.

So as the month of June was about to become history, I decided to take the time for myself to write! As one who benefits from the presence of structure, although enjoying a sense of freedom, I decided to spend three hours a day writing, for the next 30 days. This, at the very least, is my focus for the month of July! When the calendar page turns to August, I will be able to look back and see how I have done!

Cheers everyone! Wish me well!

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Deep Within I Dive

Rain pours down unceasingly
The earth welcomes each new drop
Crow plucks worms from the soggy turf
I'm comfortable in my loft!

Could it be that this steady shower
Which began early on in the night
Is meant to deeply nourish the earth
And keep me from needless flight?

I chuckle as I think so
Because like the birds of prey
I haven't been able to sit still
Or to relax for much of the day!

More so like a hummingbird
Darting here and there
Finding this and that to focus upon
Will I continue this way all year?

Meanwhile there is a deck chair
Actually, two or three
Strategically placed at the water's edge
Where I unleash my creativity!

The chair represents a summons
To enjoy natural solitude
Relief from any encumbrance
A welcome interlude!

The possibility to go deeper
As with nature's energies I connect
The opportunity to engage again
With aspects of Self I want to resurrect

As if to confirm my thinking
The loon calls hauntingly from the bay
Encouraging me to pay attention
Not another moment to delay!

For there is so much to discover
More than meets the eye
The life force energy powerfully felt
When deep within I dive!